coastal alt/indie rock

​​Field Notes​​

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"Nothingness started" with a rhythm.

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I found an Indian tabla beat that resonated with me and listened to it over and over and over again. Eventually I picked up my guitar and started playing along with it.

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India has been part of my life since our first trip in 1999 and even before - musically.

 

We've traveled there many times, for both work and vacation, and whenever possible we would find live performances to attend. Sometimes they were in hotels. Sometimes we'd seek them out elsewhere. I even used to arrange business trips for January when I could, so we'd be there during the annual dance festival in Mahabalipuram.

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I love Indian music. Sitar, tabla, vocal percussion. I love the dance and the way rhythm moves through all of it.

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So I suppose it was inevitable that some of that would eventually find its way into my own music.

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For "Nothingness", it was that tabla loop.

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I kept playing guitar over it, letting the rhythm carry me, and eventually started writing about what I was seeing in the world around me.

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In 2022, it wasn't a particularly optimistic view.

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I know that this world is a mess
I know that it's making no sense
It feels like we've got no defense
But I won't accept this nothingness.

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There's anger in the song, particularly in the first verse. Maybe more than I should express.

But whatever.

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I don't think I wrote "Nothingness" primarily for anyone else hear. I wrote it for catharsis, which a lot of songs are, even if just musically - especially musically - to express what words cannot.

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Sometimes the world feels overwhelming enough that surrender starts looking like a reasonable response. You stop expecting things to make sense. Stop believing you can affect anything. Stop caring. Eventually you accept the emptiness of it all.

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That's never been particularly compatible with the way I think or live.

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So underneath the anger, "Nothingness" is really a song of refusal.

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I don't necessarily know how to fix the world I'm describing in the song. I don't claim to have the answer. I don't even claim that everything is going to work out.

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I just know what I'm unwilling to do.

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I won't accept this nothingness.

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Sometimes that's enough reason to write a song.

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